Origin
by the.redhead.x
Summary: Alice's life before the Cullens. Where she truely came from, and what led her to become what she is.
1. Introduction

Alice's Story

Introduction

"_Are you sure Sam?" _

"_Come Molly, we have been through this." _

"_I know, but she is our daughter and…"_

"_Molly, she isn't right in the head. She needs to be here."_

"_Yes, Mrs. Brandon. She needs to be in a place where she can be taken care of in a safe and secure environment."_

"_What about Cynthia? What do we tell her?"_

"_Molly, Cynthia will miss her, but this behaviour and talk of visions of the future is not helping anyone."_

_Molly glanced at the padded door with the small window close to the top. It 'contained' her daughter; it looked more like a prison cell. _

"_Thank you doctor, but my wife doesn't share our opinion. She believes if she can just bring Father Alexander to her, these demons that possess her will be expelled at once."_

_The doctor shook his head. He had had enough of this woman. Most families were glad to rid themselves of such a burden. _

"_With all due respect, Mrs. Brandon, but your daughter's condition is not going to improve. I don't believe her to be possessed. Rather, I think her brain does not function normally, and thus she is unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality."_

_Molly was not convinced. Her precious daughter was not insane. She was just different, in a way that was strange._

"_But the visions…"_

"_Are simple imaginings of a demented mind." _

"_But the fire. She warned us." _

"_And she probably started it. Mrs. Brandon, we are talking about a very unstable individual, who would be better off here." _

_Molly's head dropped, and tears began to stain her face. She reached for a handkerchief, but her husband offered her his, and placed his arm around her. _

"_Come, my dear. Leave her behind. We shall return if she ever recovers." _

"_When she recovers, Mr. Brandon. I am certain that with the right treatment, she will be a normal girl that will make you proud." _

_The doctor escorted the Brandon's out of the hospital, and stood on the top step and watched them drive away. There was one family that would never come back. Their daughter would either be drastically changed, live out her life in confinement or she would die. _

_He walked back past the Brandon girl's cell, and looked at her through the window. She was a pretty girl, beautiful even. Small though. The doctor sighed, and walked off to complete his paperwork. _

_The stark white fluorescent lights that shone brightly outside flooded through the window into the dark room. The small square of light spotlighted a small teenage girl sitting on the floor, knees bent and head hanging down, her chin against her chest. Her black hair had been cut short, and spiked out at odd angles. Her arms were held tight by the straitjacket that the wards had placed on her. _

_Everyone thought she was unstable, crazy, and insane. But the small seventeen year old girl sobbed quietly in her padded cell; alone and isolated from the world, with only her memories and strange, vivid visions if possible futures. _


	2. Uncertainty

Chapter 1

My life was separated into two colours.

Black.

Black was safe. Black didn't hurt; it didn't stab at my heart or make my head ache. Shades of grey usually hugged the edges of my precious dark, but that only stung a little. I welcomed black, longed for it, as its dull, nothingness was salvation.

White.

White was pain. White sent shocks through my body, loud noises that throbbed through my head until I cried, and laughed at me when it broke me, an evil laugh demanding more pain. White was often stained with red too, the red of my blood. Sometimes, during the white, my nose would bleed. Blood tracked down my face but no one ever seemed to notice. I stopped screaming after an hour.

White often faded into black.

This scared me, as I could never tell what was happening when I was suddenly overcome by darkness. But it never lasted very long. Sharp pain pulled me back to the stark whiteness and the vicious cycle would start again.

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Before my admittance to the hospital, I tried not to talk about the things I saw. My mother knew when it was happening, but it was a silent rule to speak of it, especially in front of my father. He was a labourer, and worked in the mill on the outside of town. My family lived in a small house on the outskirts, and was not in any good society. I went to school with the children from the town, but no one there ever knew my secret. I was careful around them, focused always on what I was doing, not allowing the 'sight' to creep in and draw me away. Occasionally it happened, but when questioned, I answered that I was only day dreaming.

All seemed alright in my life. That is, before yesterday. During church, I was being careful, as always, but I could not prevent a strong, vivid vision that completely took over my mind. People screaming, red flames that licked the building along the main street, thick smoke that encased the town. I forgot how to breathe, my lungs screamed for air, and I fainted, welcoming the rest that it gave me.

I awoke to my mother holding my head in her lap, stroking my hair and talking quickly to Father Alexander. I groaned. My head hurt, but then, it always did after a strong, unwelcome vision. My mother stopped talking and looked at me.

"Mary? Darling can you hear me?" My world was fuzzy. I could hardly make out my mother's face, even though it was only inches from my face. The vision had been so clear, nothing that I had ever experienced before. The people that now gathered around me where the same faces of horror that were imprinted in my mind. I knew I was never allowed to mention my visions, but this time I knew I had to say something.

"Mother!" I sat bolt upright, and immediately regretted it. Vertigo hit me had and I had to lie back down. People were offering their help, worried and sympathetic looks on every face of the small crowd that surrounded me. I heard nothing. I knew I needed to tell them.

"Fire!" I shouted from my mother's lap. My mother stroked my face, trying to sooth me. Father Alexander bent down closer to me.

"There is no fire, child. You are safe here." I shook my head ferociously and cautiously sat back up.

"No, there is going to be a fire!" Confusion marked the crowds face. My father, who stood behind where my mother was sitting, began to go red. I knew what he was thinking. I knew the rules about my 'gift', but this meant people's lives.

"Darling, there is no danger. You mustn't be well. Let's just take you home." My mother knew where this was going, but I was not going to keep quite. Not today.

"There is danger, Mother. There is going to be a fire all through the town. I saw it!" The crowd all shrank back. Apparently, my gift had been kept very quiet, more than even I expected. Father Alexander stepped towards me.

"Did God show you this, my child?" I didn't know how to answer. I had never thought of what I did as a God given blessing. It was almost automatic.

"No, Father." He walked away from me and stood so the entire congregation could see him.

"This child has been possessed by demons!" he shouted, pointing his long, thin finger at me. Everyone immediately moved away, as though I was contagious.

"You heard her yourself. T'was not God who painted this scene of destruction in her mind, but Satan himself!" I was shaking. I had never thought I was blessed by God, but I was convinced I was not possessed. My father walked towards the priest. "Father, she is tired and unwell. I believe her not to be possessed, but simply confused with a terrible nightmare. Allow us to take her home and care for her." Father Alexander stared, before giving a short nod. My father turned on his heel and walked towards the doors.

"Sam," my mother began.

"Molly, bring Mary and Cynthia. We are going home."

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For the rest of the day, my father was not home. My mother pretended that it was not unusual, and that there was nothing wrong. I stayed with Cynthia in our room, and played with her. My head ache faded after a few hours, but I could not make the horrified faces of the townspeople; my friends, family, all of them in pain, some even where missing. I wanted to do something, but what could I do? i had been locked in a house with my little sister.

Any time that I spent not with Cynthia, I spent outside. I was trying to force a vision for the first time in my life. I wanted to make sure that my family would be safe. That they would not be in harms way. But I had no idea how to make a vision occur, to bring one on. I wasn't having much luck, when Cynthia walked outside. She was so little, so innocent. How could I stand it if she perished because of me?

Suddenly I saw Cynthia, but not as I saw her a minute ago. It was dark now, but the sky was tinted red and orange from fire. She was clinging to my mother, screaming my name, but she was no near the fire. I held onto the vision and looked for my father. He was amongst the flames, pouring buckets and buckets of water, trying to smother the flames. But he was safe. Suddenly I saw myself being dragged out of a building, my father taking me from the man that pulled me out. Tears streaked his face as I screamed in torment.

I let go of the vision and collapsed on the grass, breathing hard. I was the one in danger? Me? But how was I in town during the fire? It took half an hour to walk if you were in a hurry. Confused, I walked back towards the house. As long as my family were safe, I was going to be content.

As night drew nearer, my mother began to pace in the front room. My father had been missing since we had come home from church, and she did not wish to leave me alone with Cynthia so that she could go and look for her. So, while she was pacing in the kitchen, I decided that I would go and look for him.

I never intended going further than the end of our driveway; my vision was still too clear to ignore, but my need to find my father was stronger than the inbuilt desire of self preservation. I walked slowly towards the end of the drive, and looked around when I reached the main road. No-one would miss me. Cynthia was sleeping and my mother thought I was in my room. Not a soul would notice my absence.

Unexpectedly a sharp pain shot through my head and I heard screaming. I saw the same scene as before, the fire, the men frantically trying to contain it, but the scene had changed. I was not being carried out of the burning building, and my father was not carrying me. It was the opposite. I was dragging my father out of the building; my clothes were stained with blood and dirt. Tears were mingling with the dirt on my face, the mud thick and clouding my vision. I was screaming, shouting for help, calling for a doctor. My father was still in my arms.

Suddenly the vision ended, and I was running towards the town. I had to be there. I had to help my father. It took me a few seconds to realise my head was completely clear, so different to the previous two that left a pounding throb taking over my mind entirely. I sprinted towards town, concentrating hard on the images of the vision that I had committed to memory. I was panicking, as I realised I could not place which building could potentially be his fiery grave. I continued to run, not knowing if I would make it in time.


	3. Fire

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_Suddenly the vision ended, and I was running towards the town. I had to be there. I had to help my father. It took me a few seconds to realise my head was completely clear, so different to the previous two that left a pounding throb taking over my mind entirely. I sprinted towards town, concentrating hard on the images of the vision that I had committed to memory. I was panicking, as I realised I could not place which building could potentially be his fiery grave. I continued to run, not knowing if I would make it in time. _

Chapter 2

Moments in your life define you.

Whether you are brave, courageous or strong.

I found out that, if the occasion truly calls for it, you can be everything you need to be.

My feet pounded the compressed dirt road, kicking up dust behind me as I ran. I cursed my small, frail frame. My strides were small and, although I was light, I didn't seem to be going fast enough. I cut through the forest that lined the back of the schoolyard. Smoke was thick and black, accumulating in the hollow. I barely noticed it. My lungs screamed for air, and I broke out of the woods, into thicker, denser smoke. Only now I could see the flames.

Fire licked the wooden exterior of the schoolhouse, climbing the edges of the pointed framework. The smouldering building held my attention only for a moment. My heart was thumping hard in my chest from the exertion, and my heart throbbed from lack of oxygen, but I continued to bolt towards the main street. As I got closer, I began to hear the screams.

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Terror.

The whole town was in uproar. People covered in soot, dirt and blood. The women cried over their children that hugged them close, or screamed when they realised one was missing. The men stood in lines, passing bucket after bucket of water so that it could be thrown onto the fire. The ones closest to the fire were drenched in the hauntingly orange glow.

I stopped when I was close enough to the mayhem. I scanned the men in the lines, looking for my father. A quick analysis told me that he wasn't there. Panic welled within me, and I searched for any clue as to where he could be. Then I saw it. The building of my vision. The one that I dragged my father out of. The one that was now on fire to such an extent that it had been left to burn: the old warehouse.

The warehouse was used by the family that owned the main store in my town. Goods had been stored there for years, and now it was all going up in flames; along with my father. I quickly looked around me; the chaos surrounding me confirmed that no one was paying the least bit of attention the strange Brandon girl. So I ran into the burning building.

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I had never before seen the total destructive power of a flame. I had used them all my life for candles at night and to cook meals, but never had I seen it completely out of control. Now that I had, I wished more than anything I had been denied this experience.

The items around me turned to ash as I stood in a relatively safe area of the warehouse. It was hard to see through the thick smoke that rose up around me, and ate through my oxygen. I coughed hard, my lungs searching for clean air, but found only smoke and soot. I covered my mouth and nose with my sleeve, and raced through the building, narrowly missing falling overhead support beams. As one crashed just millimetres behind me, I realised that the building was going to collapse. And I still hadn't found my father. I began to cry, searching in vain for my father, before I saw a figure lying close to the back of the building. I sprinted towards it, dodging the flaming debris that fell like raindrops around me, until I could reach my destination.

I crouched down close to my father, and rolled him over. The side of his head was covered in blood, gushing from a large, open wound on his head. I sobbed at the sight of him and held him for a moment.

"Hang on Father, it will be alright soon."

He moaned in my arms. I looked around myself for something to help me get him out. Everything was on fire. It had spread profusely in the minutes I had been by my father's side. A loud snapping sound caught me attention as a huge beam crashed metres from us. My exit was now blocked by the huge sidewards pillar of fire. Tears shone on my face, as I realised that this was the end, my visions were wrong and that I would die, trying to save my father.

I looked up in a desperate hope and stared. The beam had broken through the back wall of the building. If I could just…Quickly I stood up and grabbed both of my father's arms and pulled him towards toward the gaping hole in the structure. Creaking of the roof came from all around me; it would not hold out much longer. I pulled as hard as I could, making my entire body ache from the strain. I climbed backwards out of the hole, pulling my father with me. It was so slow, and again I cursed my being small. I pulled as hard as I could, and fell over backward as the limp figure of my father came through the opening after me. I rolled him off me and breathed in the clean air.

A sickening crack echoed through my head as the building buckled and collapsed in on itself. I lent my head against the soft ground for a moment, allowing the blood to start flowing through me once more, and letting my heart recover. I looked over at my father. His body was not moving. It took me a second to grasp what I was seeing. My father was not moving at all; he wasn't breathing. I screamed as loud as I could, shouting, screaming for help. The firer had been controlled by now, so men ran towards the sound of panic.

I was pulled from his body, crying and screaming for someone to help him. The townsmen lay him on his back and spoke to him, trying to make him breathe. My world was a blur through the tears the clouded my vision. I could see only colours; browns, greens, reds, oranges, black. The woman that owned the small millinery shop further down the street tried to comfort me, but I continued to scream. My father was dying in front of my eyes and they didn't seem to be able to help.

Suddenly, out of the orange haze that surrounded the town a man came running towards us. I took no notice until he started yelling my name.

"Mary? Mary!"

My eyes snapped towards him, and as I focused, I saw that it was…my father? I looked at the man lying on the ground, then back at the man coming to me. Confusion must have been on my face, because I was suddenly embraced by my father that had come running out of the haze.

"Is Billy going to be okay?" he asked. Billy? Billy Thompson? He looked nothing like my father. Yet I had been so sure…

"I'll take her home Clair. Thank you for your help." And with that I found myself being dragged home by my ear, but only after we were out of everyone's sight.

"What did you think you were doing?" he shouted when we were out of earshot. I was still in shock, confused and unable to believe the past the events of the past hour. He stopped and grabbed my shoulder, then shook me until my heard hurt.

"Why were you in town?" he growled at me. I shook my head slowly.

"I saw…" I began, but that only enraged him.

"You SAW????" he demanded. "You don't see anything, Mary! You are an attention seeking ingrate!" I looked at my father, stunned. I had never seen him so mad before. He continued to shout at me all the way home, and once we arrived he locked me in the attic until the next morning.

The last morning of my life and the first day of the rest of my existence.


	4. Torture

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"_What did you think you were doing?" he shouted when we were out of earshot. I was still in shock, confused and unable to believe the past the events of the past hour. He stopped and grabbed my shoulder, then shook me until my heard hurt. _

"_Why were you in town?" he growled at me. I shook my head slowly. _

"_I saw…" I began, but that only enraged him. _

"_You SAW????" he demanded. "You don't see anything, Mary! You are an attention seeking ingrate!" I looked at my father, stunned. I had never seen him so mad before. He continued to shout at me all the way home, and once we arrived he locked me in the attic until the next morning. _

_The last morning of my life and the first day of the rest of my existence. _

Chapter 3

The mind does strange things to you.

It can remember something special to you, down to the minutest of details.

It can also block out everything about an event that you don't want to remember.

I don't remember being pulled out of the attic this morning.

Nor do I remember the long, tireless drive upstate to the asylum; my new home.

However, I do remember waking up in a small, dark room that was padded on the floor, walls and ceiling, and being restrained in a straitjacket.

And my mother crying, begging my father to take me home.

A shadow covered my small window of light, and I looked up to see a silhouette of a man looking through my window. Examining me. Checking to see if I was still crazy, I suppose. He moved out of my light, and the stark square spotlighted my tears for the world to see.

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Pain.

I had never felt anything like it. Blood streaked my face, but no one seemed to care. It flowed hot across my lips, and dripped from my chin. Tears of salt mixed with the blood, making it seem as though there was more than there really was. My head ached it such an extent that my eyes felt as though they would no longer remain in my head, and I began to see red. Then the pain ceased. Demons in white coats nodded and discussed the use of their inventions against the rat; me. I choked up more blood, if that was even possible. I didn't think I had any more left in me. Then the pain stated again.

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I was ready to embrace death.

The blood and the electricity were too much.

Just when I thought that I could not take any more, the source of the pain was abruptly cut off. The throbbing ache that flowed through me continued as I was dragged back to the padded prison cell that I know too comfort in returning to, but the acute paroxysm that my body experienced over and over was gone. The wards dragged me in, grasping my shoulders tight as my arms were still encased in the straitjacket. They threw me into the room, and I skidded across the floor to a halt against the back wall, my head slamming roughly into the padding.

I slowly turned myself around and sat carefully on the floor. Too faster movements caused the room to spin, and I was not going to throw up again. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the wall. It was peaceful here, comparatively anyway. I could still hear the screams of the people in rooms down the corridor, trapped in the whiteness.

I had now lost track of time completely. I had no idea what time it was, what day it was or of how much time had past. But the pain in my head was no having the effect it intended. My visions were still coming and going, but secretly I felt relieved when one did. It gave me some sense of normalcy. They were, however, becoming more accurate, but only minutes into the future, opposed to the hours I was accustomed to. I opened my eyes, and they went out of focus. I saw one of the doctors walking down the corridor, my corridor, and looking through my window, then making notes, before walking off and muttering _nice. _

I came back to the present, just as a shape appeared though the light that shone onto me. The doctor looked down before walking off. I sighed. I couldn't be crazy, I just couldn't be. The 'hallucinations' that I was experiencing were too precise to be untrue. I adjusted my seating so that I was straight against the padded wall and bent my knees slightly, and hung my head. I could see only parts of my once long and flowing hair. As with all the other patients in the hospital, my hair had been ferociously cut off and sold to wig makers. My hair, now shorter that most of the males in my acquaintance, stood out in a very odd manner, pieces of it in every known direction. A single tear ran down my nose and dripped onto the skirt of my hospital gown. Everything once precious to me had been cruelly snatched away from me, and now I was left with nothing but heartache and apparitions of a disgruntled future.

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I awoke to a loud, creaking noise. Disoriented, I waited until my eyes adjusted to the harsh, white light that flooded into my home; my sanctuary. I hid behind my short fringe and looked up and the shadow in front of me. From the frame before me, I could tell that it was a man. He was large, broad-shouldered and tall. As my eyes adjusted, a grasp of surprise escaped from my between my lips. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen, but unusual at the same time. His light brown hair rippled in what was the current fashion, his face square and hard, yet the soft smile contrasted greatly. His skin was pale alabaster, whiter than even mine, which was exceptionally rare for a male. He smiled gently at me, and reached for my hand.

Suddenly, I was alone. I looked around, shocked. Where had he gone, this beautiful creature that I had seen only seconds before. I looked down and sighed. He had only been a vision. I was sick of being able to see things before they happened. What good would they do me here? At least I would know when the doctors decided to kill me, and not just torture me within inches of my life.

As I looked down at my legs, something was wrong. I could see them in detail. I looked back across the room. If he had only been a vision, then why was the door still open? It was only a crack, but the light shone brightly onto me. I cringed away from it; light had become feared and unwanted. Suddenly it opened again, and another beautiful man stood in the light. He was slightly younger than the other. He was blonde, and his hair was long, and curled on his shoulders, and dressed in a wards uniform. I realised he carried my food.

"Why hello, beautiful," he smiled at me. I cowered away from him, frightened by the kindness of the ward. I examined him over my knees that were tucked up under my chin. I didn't like the way he stood; it was almost a hunting stance an animal took up in front of its prey. And his breathing was too shallow; it was almost as if he wasn't breathing at all. Afraid I hid my face into the padded wall, and held my breath. I heard my try be placed down, and then nothing.

Slowly, I exhaled. My heart rate slowed down, and my breathing was normal again. I relaxed my position and took a deep breath, wanting to smell my food. The most incredible smell entered my nose; so sweet, so sensual. I turned around to investigate, only to find the wards face inches from mine. My heart stopped as I looked into his deep crimson eyes.


	5. Monster

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_Slowly, I exhaled. My heart rate slowed down, and my breathing was normal again. I relaxed my position and took a deep breath, wanting to smell my food. The most incredible smell entered my nose; so sweet, so sensual. I turned around to investigate, only to find the wards face inches from mine. My heart stopped as I looked into his deep crimson eyes. _

Chapter 4

I had never really been afraid before.

Not like I was in that moment.

Everything that had once terrified me became like sunshine and daffodils compared to what I was facing now.

I would never be afraid again.

Because, at that very moment, truly believed I was going to die.

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I could not move.

He had me pinned to the wall. And I was going to die, I was sure of it.

The man in front of me smiled, his lips drawing slightly back over his perfect, startlingly sharp looking teeth. They were the same colour as his skin; flawless white. I tried to back away, but I was already hard against the wall. He seemed to enjoy my efforts to get away from him, and he gracefully moved away.

"My name is James," he said arrogantly, stepping back towards the door. I looked freely at him, because I was going to die anyway, so why bother hiding?

He was too still, I realised. The way he stood, his hunter stance, didn't move when he breathed. His chest did not rise and fall, the way mine quickly was. I didn't understand, nor did I want to. I just wanted him to be gone, or to get it over with. I was beyond caring about what happened to me.

James looked down at me, evaluating me. I felt like a prised bull being looked over by the men that wanted it for their own. But then I realised, before I could block the thought, that was probably exactly what he was doing. He wanted me for his own. Suddenly I no longer solely feared for my life; he wanted something more of me first. All at once I found my voice, and started screaming. I knew it would draw attention, as I had not screamed through my 'rehabilitation', so they would know that something was wrong.

James turned impossibly fast around to the door, then before I could blink, he was in front of my again. I continued screaming, and closed my eyes. He roughly grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes, my screams reduced to a whimper. His eyes focused on mine, hatred inundating through the blood red colour.

"You shall regret this, my dear. But rest assured; I will make you mine." And then he was gone. I collapsed into a heap, and lost consciousness just as the wards came running into my room. The door had been left open in the wake of my antagonist.

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"What do we do, Doctor? We cannot leave this undealt with."

"Write to the family. Tell them that their daughter has killed herself. Say she made herself choke to death on her food, and that we shall take care of the funeral."

"And if they ask to see the body?"

"Tell them that it is highly recommended that they do not see her, and that it is better to remember her as she was."

"Yes, Doctor."

"Hush, now. She is drifting in and out. We do not want her to hear that they will not be coming back for her."

"She was muttering earlier. She never expected them back."

"Hush. Go now."

"Yes, Doctor."

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My head pounded as I awoke in my room. I was lying carefully on the bed in that had been brought in. I moaned and looked around. The door was shut. No surprises there. But I no longer felt safe; it felt like I was the only one that could not walk in or out. Even my enemies had a key. I rolled back and stared at the ceiling and gasped.

He heard my exclamation, and dropped down next to my bed. I watched him, and moved my head to fast. I groaned at the pain that rippled down the back of my neck. He placed his hand gently on top of my stomach which was covered by a rough, itchy blanket. It concealed my restraints that held down my arms. But even through the fabric, I could feel that his touch was ice cold. He smiled warmly, and rubbed my stomach gently.

"Hello, Mary Alice," he said in a soft but masculine voice. I must have looked confused, as he fought back a smile. He sat on the end of my bed, but was still close by. I recognised him, now that he was more in the light. He was the beautiful creature that I had visioned earlier, right before James came in.

It occurred to me that I had not responded. I blushed a little in embarrassment.

"Hello." My voice sounded wrong to me, but he did not seem to notice. He smiled.

"Who are you?" I asked bluntly, before realising how rude it sounded. My new friend laughed, and ran his spare hand through his hair.

"Robert," he answered. I tilted my head a little. I wanted to make sure I never forgot the perfection of his face.

"Hello, Robert. And yes, you got me right. Mary." I shrugged at that. I hated that name. It had been my father's mother's name. So I despised it now. Robert looked at me kindly.

"With all do respect, Miss Mary, I believe that Alice suits you better. Would you mind if I call you Miss Alice?" Of course not. You can call me anything you like.

"That would be quite alright, Mr Robert."

Suddenly, he turned around, and stared towards the door. And then he was gone. I had only blinked and he had vanished into thin air. I looked up and he was hiding, once again, in the corner of my room's ceiling. He clutched hold of edging that was not there and balanced carefully and silently. He smiled his warm, fatherly smile and to my horror, let go of the ceiling with one hand and pressed his finger to his lips. I understood; no one was to know that he was there.

My door opened, and for a moment I thought that it may be James, but I was only one of the doctor's that 'treated' me. I sighed in relief, and looked at him sleepily. He squatted down next to my bed, and brushed a few strands of short, uneven hair out of my eyes.

"Hello, Mary. How are you feeling?" Before I thought about it, I responded.

"My name is not Mary, its Alice." I blushed, and looked down. The doctor, utterly confused, looked down to check his notes, so I stole a look at Robert. He was shaking; he was laughing at me. I shot him a quick smile before looking back at the doctor. He was oblivious to the entire exchange.

"Alright then, Alice. Would you like to tell me why you were screaming earlier?"

He was one of the kinder doctors, so I smiled at him. He was slightly taken aback. Then I put on a serious face, knowing that he needed to believe me.

"A ward came in with my dinner, and he threatened me. He said that he was going to make me his. His name is James." The doctor took in what I said, and wrote down James' name. But when he looked back at me kindly, his eyes were sympathetic. I knew immediately that he didn't believe me.

"I shall look into this, Alice. And I should remind you that there is nothing to be afraid of here. You will be looked after." The doctor stood up as he said the insincere words, and quietly walked towards the door. It struck me how loud he was compared to Mr. Robert, who hadn't made a noise through the whole discussion, and he was holding onto the edges of padded ceiling. The doctor turned around once he reached the door, holding it with his hand. He sighed, and looked at me.

"If it will make you feel better, I will lock the door from the outside. That way, anyone who wished to come in will have to come and talk to me." I brightened at that idea, and nodded viciously. The doctor gave a short laugh, and walked out, closing the door behind him. The lock made a loud click, and I felt safe.

At once, Robert was back by my side. I gasped, but then giggled to myself. His speed and silence was unbelievable. How was I ever going to get used to it. It was then I made the connection. I shot a look straight at Robert, who recoiled at my sudden change. He was still in the light from my window, and, although a lot closer to black, his eyes contained flickers of blood red.

His hand was over my mouth in an instant. I had got it wrong. His skin was not icy cold; it was colder than anything I had ever felt. I tried to move away, but lying down, I could not move. He stifled my screams, but did not hurt me. He knew what I had seen, and that it had frightened me. I struggled, and tears flooded out of my eyes in terror. But it didn't feel right. Only minutes again, he had been my friend; now he was a monster. Robert sighed.

"I am sorry, Miss Alice. I did not mean to frighten you." Robert looked away, looking almost ashamed. I stopped struggling, my screams dimming to a slight whimpering. He looked back at me, his red-stained eyes tortured.

"I do not mean you any harm, Alice. I am here to look after you. To protect you from the one that calls himself James."

*****************************************************************

Robert watched me from his corner on the ceiling as I rocked steadily, rhythmically on my bed. How much time had past? A minute, an hour? It felt like decades. The only time that I registered any change was when my door's lock opened. My eyes shot up, and I heard Robert sigh with relief. He must have been worried that I would not recover from the unveiling of his secret; that he was a vampire.

I had heard legends of the cold, blood-drinkers before. Anyone that lived in a small town had. My father had told me never to go outside at night, because that is when the cold ones hunt, as they lusted over human blood. Needless to say, I stayed away from the forests at night. But I only ever thought of them as myths; never real. I must have gone into shock, for I don't remember moving through his story of how he came to be. I remembered listening to him, and I remember my breathing accelerating as he told me, carefully, that James was also one of them, and that he would protect me from him. I must have gone into lockdown, because he quickly undid my restraints and silently slipped away from me, leaving me to my thoughts.

In truth, I was not really picturing the images that he had placed in my head. I was trying to force myself to see what he meant by looking after me, but since Robert had come into my room, I could not see anything. It was oddly strange not to have any visions. It was so unfamiliar. I was beginning to think that maybe I was crazy. But I thought about the time frame since my last one, and realised they had stopped after Robert came into my room. I concluded that he must be blocking them some how.

I was immediately tense as the door creaked open, but the friendly face of the young doctor calmed me. He gave me a quick smile, before placing two small cups on the floor.  
"Hello, Alice. These are for you. They will help." I stared at the cups, and realised he was not going to leave until I acknowledged him. I nodded, not being able to answer properly. Suddenly he registered that I was not still lying down. He smiled at me again, and quickly returned to the hall, locking the door behind him. I understood; he was afraid of me.

I sighed. Now they were medicating me. Soon I would be like the zombie people I had always pictured to live here. I looked up for Robert, but found him a lot closer than I expected. He sat on the end of my bed, his eyes fixed on mine. I could see he was worried, so I attempted to smile at him. I could feel the strain, and from his gaze, I could tell I had not fooled him either.

"It was not right to tell you," he sighed, and hit himself on the leg. I wished I could comfort him, but it seemed impossible to comfort a…a vampire. It was hard to acknowledge that he was a monster. I cringed away at the thought, and immediately regretted it when pain covered his face. I reached out and carefully placed my hand on his shoulder. He shuddered under my touch, from my warmth, and sighed. But this time, it was more with relief.

He carefully turned towards himself towards me, his eyes darker now then before, and a harsh shade of purple shadowed the underpart of his eyes. It was a tortured expression; a mixture of protection and thirst. He looked down, so I couldn't see his eyes.

"Miss Alice…" He couldn't find the words to voice his concerns and feelings. I gripped his shoulder a little tighter, my hand frozen, letting him know that it was okay. He looked up at me, and sighed.

"You sigh a lot," I remarked and the expression on my face must have amused him, as he chuckled, perfect bass.

I didn't want his to continue in pain, and I thought that he should leave. "Robert, you are in pain here. You should leave." He whirled around towards and had his hands on my shoulders too face for me to see. His eyes smouldered, his purpose clear and precise.

"I am sorry that I burdened you with this, Miss Alice, but you're very life is at stake. I am afraid that you are going to die."


	6. Run

**Sorry updates are talking so long everyone. **

**Exams are killers. I would much rather write.**

**Keep reviewing, because the help and encouragement is always awesome =]**

_I didn't want him to continue in pain, and I thought that he should go. "Robert, you are in pain here. You should leave." He whirled around towards me and had his hands on my shoulders to make me face him. His eyes smouldered, his purpose clear and precise. _

"_I am sorry that I burdened you with this, Miss Alice, but you're very life is at stake. I am afraid that you are going to die." _

Chapter 5

Everyone talks about how much pain they have had to endure.

Loss of a loved one.

Being trampled by horses.

They know nothing.

No one has ever experienced the pain that I knew that I was going to have to endure.

Because my pain was the worst that anyone has ever known; the pain of losing everything.

*****************************************************************

Darkness had descended upon my little room. The fluorescent white light that usually flooded through my window had been dulled; only every third light outside was still switched on. Although the light had not been bright in my room, I did not realise how much comfort I took in it before it was taken away.

I shivered. Robert retreated further away from me; his body temperature was not helping the goosebumps that covered my skin. We had not spoken for a while. It was another long period of silence that I knew must be torturing him, but I could not bring myself to discuss my impending doom.

Robert, gracious and kind, had told me about James. James was a hunter; that was the word he had used to describe him. Robert had basically spat out the word, disgusted in the unavoidable truth. A hunter, in his world, was someone that fixed their obsession upon something, and could not give up until they acquired it. I did not need my friend to tell me that it was my blood that this hunter lusted over, nor did I need to be informed that the inevitability was that he would obtain it.

I was alone in my opinion. Robert believed that there was some way in which to prevent it. I could not see it. Perhaps I subconsciously chose not to. However, he seemed optimistic enough in his solution, but I would catch him staring at me, with a dent of worry between his eyebrows. Of course, it would smooth out the second he caught me looking, but I knew that there was some unknown problem that he was not telling me. But then, I did not wish to know. I was not one whom liked to discuss their death.

I looked at Robert's body, its perfection distracting me. His body was muscular and strong, his arms flawless in their shape. His face was that of royalty, one that could have been carved from stone. His hair, however, was the most human part of him. It flowed, just as any human's would, with every movement he made. It was still too perfect to be seen as anything else, but it was less likely to be marvelled over, once anyone saw the rest of him. He felt my gaze, and watched my look over him. He smiled when I let my eyes rest on the shape of his lips. I blushed and looked away. He sighed and the worried look was back. During my observations, I continued to notice that he still had not breathed. Not once since entering my room, apparently. It made me feel uneasy, and that my breathing was the only thing, apart from my heart, that made any noise.

Suddenly, Robert cocked his head to the side. I tried to listen too, but I heard nothing. So I tried to see, with my visions. It was still strange not to have them coming and going constantly, so I had been trying to force them. I closed my eyes and looked 'around' Robert. It sounded silly, but as he was the barrier of my visions, if I could look around him, they may come back. I searched for things that did not require him in the picture. I saw the young doctor, in the nurse's station, far away from my little room. They laughed at the joke he had just told, and one of the younger nurse's blushed hard and looked away. But then all went dark.

I shook my head and opened my eyes. Something must happen to involve Robert. But I couldn't see how this could be, as the statue of a man stood silently in the corner, not moving an inch. I considered asking him what it was that he heard, but he was a blur and I abruptly found myself in his arms, and in the corner that sat above the door. I was shocked at the movement, as it had taken all of a second for him to cross the room, pick me up and balance in our current position. I gasped and looked up at his face; it was hard and faultlessly smooth, but his eyes were filled with concern. I shivered a little, and in another blurred motion, we were across the room and back to the corner, only now I was wrapped in the blanket from the bed. At least it was a little warmer now.

I listened for what Robert could evidently hear, but only my breathing and my heartbeat filled my ears. But that might have been because my breathing was accelerated and my heart thundered in my chest. Robert stiffened, and it was only then that I remembered what he was. I looked down sheepishly, and attempted to apologise, only to find his cold, hard hand once more covering my mouth. I stopped short, and his finger made the quiet motion against my lips. I was resigned that my apology would have to wait.

The door's lock slowly slid open. I looked down expectantly, waiting for whatever the danger to enter my home. The door silently, smoothly opened, and the shadow of my enemy was cast onto the floor, but it was only slight from the lack of light. My breathing stopped as the hunter walked into my cell. My eyes focused on the back of his head. I waited for him to turn and look up at me. My heart raced in my chest, and he slowly turned and smiled.

*****************************************************************

My world was a blur the second James saw me. I could not register anything; I was moving too fast. Colour was not even recognisable as they sped past me, only the occasional lighter colour could be distinguished against the never ending line of shadows.

I knew Robert still held me, as my body curled into the cold stone that was his body. I took me a few seconds to realise what was happening; he was running. The shadows that past quickly were those cast from the corridors of the hospital, and the sparks of colour was the dull lights that were fixed overhead. I did not want to register the speed at which we were travelling, but I was all too aware of the reason for our haste. James followed as at almost the same speed. Robert stayed just out of reach, but only barely. I cringed into his torso, and held onto the strong arms that protected me.

Suddenly, the world around me was a lot colder. Wind blew hard against my exposed skin. Wind? We were outside? I was too confused and too scared to even be grateful for the fresh air that flooded into my lungs. My life was about to end, so I did not know why Robert bothered running. James would eventually catch us, as we could not run forever. All the while, my saviour continued to run, now entering the forestland that grew thick behind the town.

*****************************************************************

My eyes were closed as the water assaulted me from all angles. Already cold, the water hit me like ice bullets, smashing into me. I shuddered, but there was no warmth for me anywhere; Robert was colder than the water. He leaned down towards my face.

"Miss Alice, you are going to have to hold onto my back now. I need my arms." Thoughtlessly, I climbed onto his back, the soaked blanket forgotten. We were moving faster now. His strong arms powered through the freezing water. I clung to him, the spray of the water hitting my face, making it numb with cold. The clouds overhead would not betray the time of night that it was, and my thoughts became as numb as my face; I could feel nothing.

The water disappeared soon enough, but the cold became more intense as the water droplets held tight to the surface of my skin. I shivered almost uncontrollably, and Robert pulled me back into his arms, and rubbed my back as we ran through the vegetation that was opposite the great lake that we had just crossed, trying to warm me with the friction. I continued to shake, almost uncontrollably. Robert ran a little further into the trees, before laying my down carefully against a tree, the roots protecting me from the wind.

He stood back and turned his head back in the direction of the hospital. His nostrils flared as he searched for James' scent. He turned back to me, and looked down. He seemed to fidget, but then again, I was shaking, so my perception of movement was off. He sighed.

"I'm sorry, pretty Alice, but this is the only way to save you." And with that, Robert did the most unexpected thing. In one of his blurred motions, he was in front of me, cupping my face in one of his hands, before sinking his teeth through the skin on my throat.

I screeched loudly, as the point on my neck felt like it was on fire. I rolled away from Robert, covering the wound with both hands, attempting to douse the flames with my hands. The heat spread through my body, and my heart accelerated, pounding hard in my chest. I could not breathe properly; laboured breaths escaped through my clenched teeth. It had only been a few seconds, and Robert looked sadly at me, before whirling to face away from me, only to be kicked into a thick tree not far away. The entire tree snapped free of the ground, leaving only exposed roots.

I could not concentrate properly, but James commanded my attention. He smiled his cruel smile, before leaning close to me.

"Your friend may have thought that he could save you, but your blood still flows through your veins. I can still have you." His eyes focused upon me; his prize, and he lowered his mouth towards the already gaping wound on my neck.

Suddenly, he was gone, and another tree was gone. Robert stood protectively in front of me. I knew that it would be killing him; my blood was on his tongue, but refusing to give in to the desire. James walked carefully away from the fallen tree, his smile gone. In a moment, both he and Robert were in a whirl, a fight that moved to fast for me to focus on. But the fire in my body was consuming every part of me. I screamed in torment.

Robert stopped, and shot a glance at me. I knew at once it was a mistake. He should have been watching James. But before I could scream again, Robert and James were gone from the clearing. I tried to see where they had gone, but the tongues of the flame inside me touched every part of my body and did not allow me to move. My eyes rolled back into my head, and everything went black for a few seconds. As I faded back into reality, an awful, ear piecing noise consumed the forest, like that of metal being shredded.

I felt my body slump closer to the ground, and I wanted to die. I wanted to scream out in pain, but I could not find my voice. I wanted to search for Robert, and help him, but my legs were lost; far away from me. A chilling laugh rippled through my little clearing, and James casually walked back towards me. He bent down to my height, and roughly grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. His eyes were filled with hate and anger. But his face twisted into a smile.

"Well, Miss Alice. How are you to be defended now that your vampire in shining armour is no longer here to save you?" I didn't care. I wanted him to kill me. James inhaled purposely close to my face, but abruptly pulled away; his smile now gone.

"What is this?" he demanded, increasing his iron tight grip on my chin. I only knew that he was doing it as I watched him; I could feel nothing but the fire. He looked over me, and understanding flashed through his red eyes. He jumped back, now on the other side of the clearing, hissing and snarling at me. I slumped further to the ground, and struggled against the fire that raged inside me. I waited for him to kill me; tear me apart, anything. I did not want to live.

At this stage I was lying flat on my back, withering in pain. James was suddenly above me, looking down at me. He growled at me.

"Do you know why I am going to leave you?" What? Leave me? In this pain?

"It is because your _hero _had made his venom flow through you, and your blood no longer contains the same longing for me. I do not want you." I hated him. He was not going to kill me because of my blood not smelling right?

"But, Miss Alice, I do not need a vampire running around the world, telling the wrong people about how I accidentally killed an important vampire." He cast his eyes back towards the forest. I understood, even through the flaming haze in my head; he had killed Robert.

I suddenly found my voice, and started to scream. James' hand was over my mouth at once, silencing my attempt to call for help.

"There is no help out here, Miss Alice. You are alone, and when you wake up, you will be alone; more alone than you ever thought. Because, to ensure my safety, I am going to make you forget everything." His face altered into a warped grin, before he placed his hands around my neck and turned it hard.

And everything went black.


	7. Dawn

**This one is a bit dark people, but it had to be done. **

**Vampires are dangerous creatures, even if in the end they turn out good. **

**They were all like this once. I want to start on her becoming good as soon as possible, so this one is officially out of the way. **

**TillITryIllNeverKnow ~ Robert is a bit like ****Carlisle, in that he cares about people's lives. However, I don't think he has the self-restraint that Carlisle possesses when it comes to humans, as he is a 'conventional' vampire. However, as in the story, he is important, so I think at one stage he was part of the Vulturi (even perhaps during these events), and he has a gift in that he can determine who deserves to die. So he feels it's his duty to protect Alice, but it is very hard for him to control his thirst. Hence why he doesn't breathe while he is around her. **

**Ainsaboo ~ I was going to keep it going until the beginning of Twilight, and maybe include 'First Sight' into it, just from Alice's perspective. **

**sprinkledwithtwilight ~ I'm glad you are enjoying it. Hope your last exam is okay and you have an awesome start to your summer. **

**emmettsmyfave ~ Good luck with your exams. I'll make sure the update is here for the end of them, so you have something to look forward to =] **

_I suddenly found my voice, and started to scream. James' hand was over my mouth at once, silencing my attempt to call for help. _

"_There is no help out here, Miss Alice. You are alone, and when you wake up, you will be alone; more alone than you ever thought. Because, to ensure my safety, I am going to make you forget everything." His face altered into a warped grin, before he placed his hands around my neck and turned it hard. _

_And everything went black. _

Chapter 6

"It's always darkest before the dawn"

~ A Proverb

*****************************************************************

I was aware of the intense pain, the fire that consumed me. I could feel the tongues of every flame lick and devour every inch of me. I knew I was once human. But that was the only real thing in life I knew for certain. Everything else was a blur of black and grey. I did not remember anything other than the darkness. But I was completely distracted by my entire being going up in flames.

I begged for death to come; to take me up and swallow me whole. To consume me and smother the fire. For anything that would stop the pain. I screamed loudly, yet no help came. I could not concentrate on anything, even if salvation did come. I was lost within myself, slowly being burnt to death. I did not know how long I lied on the forest floor, withering in pain, screaming for death. A day, a week, a year? I had nothing to judge time on. I simply continued to scream.

I gave up on screaming, as it did nothing to save me. I lay quietly, and concentrated on the areas of my body that seemed to be cooling; the fire was dying in my fingers and toes. However, once this began, the fire in my heart burnt hotter than before, even though I could not understand how that was even possible. I felt the fire race towards my thundering heart, as it retreated from my limbs. Soon I could feel my lower legs and lower arms. I knew that both my heart and the fire would eventually lose; the fire had all but consumed me, and my heart thundered as it attempted to escape its inevitable death. I intended to endure the pain as it increased, and wait for it to be over. And I did manage to. But it didn't stop me screaming.

After the pain had reached its peak, and my poor heart stumbled to its final beat, I lay still on the ground, eyes closed. The grass felt soft, and I could hear everything; the birds in the trees, the creatures in the far off brush land. I could even hear the soft noise that the water in the lake made as it brushed against its sand floor. I became aware that I was not breathing, and inhaled. The world tasted amazing, the scents on everything settled on my tongue, and I found that everything had a taste. However, the breath that I took felt wrong; there was no relief when the air reached my lungs. It seemed that now I would breathe only to taste and out of habit; apparently, I no longer needed oxygen to survive.

My world of sound and touch disappeared, and again I saw the mysterious face of a man I had never met. He was beautiful; there was no doubt of that. His skin was an impossible white, but it was scarred with marks; bite marks all over his body. A very obvious one was above one of his eyebrows. He had honey blonde hair, and he was muscular, but lean. He would tower over me; he was over six feet tall. But the most disturbing thing was his eyes; they were blood red. The imaged faded out, and I sighed. His face had been the first thing in my mind when the burning subsided. It had taken me a while to adjust to the fact that it was only in my head. At the moment, I could only see the image of him; not exactly what he was doing. But then, I was not trying hard to see either.

It disturbed me that I could see things that weren't there, but, oddly enough, it did not feel at all strange or unknown, as everything else did. I felt some kind of connection with being able to see this man, as though I had always had the ability to. But I could not be sure. I did not even know my name. I had no recollection of anything besides the fire. It frightened me.

I shifted a little, as the wind blew from a different direction, and unexpectedly my throat burned uncontrollably. My head was filled with a red haze of desire, and all reason evaporated from me. The smell was _amazing_; it clouded out every other thought. The birds and the grass were no longer of any consequence. My eyes flew open and suddenly I was on my feet. I did not remember moving, but I did not care. I was obsessed with the scent that flowed into my nose and mouth; flames raged inside my throat.

Suddenly I was running. I wanted whatever the delightful, desirable scent was. I could not command any reason within myself, nor did I want to. There was no need to. The scent ruled. I was only slightly aware of the speed I was travelling at, the clarity of the forest plants as I raced past them. But it didn't matter to me; nothing did. As the smell grew stronger, I raced faster on into the forest.

*****************************************************************

A couple sat comfortably on the picnic blanket below the bow of the tree upon which I was now perched. He lay on his side, looking up at the girl who sat with her legs sideways, but still tucked up under her skirt. He reached up and stroked her face, and she blushed. That sight drove me to near insanity. The blood that flowed richly under her perfect face was fuel to the flames that were already all but consuming my throat.

My hunting crouch lowered; ready to spring down upon them. I looked around, and breathed in the scent of the air; there could not be anything that attacked me or my hunt. All I could smell was the delicious scent of the two humans that were completely oblivious to the danger they were in. It made me smile. The men slowly let his hand fall from her cheek down to her lap, then glide to the end of her dress, and ran his hand up the lower part of her leg. Her blush deepened, and I could not control myself anymore.

I adjusted myself slightly, before leaping onto the man from behind. He yelled in surprise, and attempted to stand up, trying to shake me off. His fair young maiden was rooted to the spot, her mouth trapped in a silent scream. I moved around the human easily; his body movements were to slow to catch me. I wound myself around and onto his shoulders, before sinking my teeth into his neck; it was the strongest source of the smell, and I could see the thick blood pulsing through the vein that lay just below the surface.

The taste was amazing, and it flowed down my throat, dousing the flames. But yet I wanted more. There was not enough to satisfy me; I needed his blood. The man made feeble attempts to get me off, to stop me. His hands tried to grip me, but their strength was that of a baby bird. I smiled to myself at the thought of this pathetic creature getting the better of me. It seemed insane to even consider it. I felt him collapse under me, and I continued to drain him of his blood long after he had died. Soon he ran die. Annoyed, I tossed the body away. I still wanted more. Even though I wanted, needed his blood, and had enjoyed the kill, I tried not to let my eyes rest on his glazed over eyes.

A small whimper caught my attention. The girl, who had just watched her lover be drained of every last drop of blood, was now in silent hysteria. Her eyes overflowed in tears, and her body shook uncontrollably. I breathed deeply; her scent brought back the flames in my throat, although not as intense as before. But it was enough to want her. I crouched down again, my hunting stance natural and thoughtless, and I crept towards her. Her eyes were not on me, but on the bracelet upon her hand. Perhaps it had been a gift from him; however it was irrelevant to me.

I moved closer now, learning to savour the scent, as it would soon be gone. An odd thought entered my mind, as I stalked closer. What must I look like to his fair young lady that sat before me? Was I hideous? A monster sent from hell to ruin her? But the haze that her scent swelled around me and the thought was pushed to the back of my mind for later. I crouched lower, and leapt towards her. She did not attempt to stop me. As I though her to the ground, and climbed onto her back, she simply went limp below me. This made things easier, and again my teeth penetrated human flesh.

The girl tasted so much better than her lover, and I savoured her taste while she let out a shrilled scream. I was more careful with her, as I did not wish to lose a single drop. I felt her body stop twitching, and her heart faulted, stopping as I drank. I drained her slowly, and the flames in my throat died down considerably. At last, once I had finished, I felt a little sloshy inside. I pulled away from the girl's lifeless body. Reason had returned with the absence of human blood. I looked down at myself. I was covered in the man's blood. I slowly removed the item of clothing I wore. It appeared to be a hospital gown. Carefully and very gently I removed the garments that the girl wore. As I shrank away from the corpse, and pulled on the dead girls clothes, for the first time, I saw what I had become.

I was a monster sent from hell. I was the one that people feared at night; that came and stole their loved ones. I was a cold one that the old men had spoken of. I was a blood drinker.

I was a vampire.


	8. Control

**Hey guys. Sorry about the waiting. School is killing me. **

**Thank you guys so much for the encouragement. =]**

**It is really wonderful to know that you are enjoying it. **

**I hope everyone is having a good time and whatnot. **

**=]**

**Sorry, bit of a random mood today =P **

**Anyways…back to Alice. **

_I was a monster sent from hell. I was the one that people feared at night; that came and stole their loved ones. I was a cold one that the old men had spoken of. I was a blood drinker. _

_I was a vampire. _

Chapter 7

"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness."

~ Joseph Conrad

"There surely is in human nature an inherent propensity to extract all the good out of all the evil."

~ Benjamin Haydon

"Nothing can truly be evil, if it decides that it is not. Because evil is simply the opposite of goodness. All one needs to do to overcome it is to make a conscious decision."

~ .bubble-buster.

*****************************************************************

I didn't move for a long time after the attack. I did not breathe. I could only stare at the two lifeless bodies that lay on the ground before me. Now that my head was not covered in a red haze of bloodlust, I could see them for who they were. The girl was very pretty. She was petite and her face was slightly round, framed by her deep yellow-gold hair that shimmered in the sunlight. It was not until I noticed that did I begin to have some thought about time. It was day, but I had no idea when. It also did not escape my notice that on her left hand, there was a delicate ring; they had been engaged.

The man I tried to look at, as I had made a mess of his fragile body, which was now broken from being thrown across the meadow. I had retrieved it once I had realised what I had done. Now both the bodies lay next to each other. I decided that they should be buried, but I was at a loss as to how to dig a grave for them. In the end, I dug by hand, but no pain came, so two identical holes were soon in the ground; exactly six feet down. I carefully paced the bodies into their graves, and I buried them fast. Their faces would haunt be forever, and I no longer wished to see them.

I walked slowly down towards the brook that I heard. It took me a while to grasp how far away it actually was, so I broke into a sprint. This time, I appreciated that I could see every detail of the forest which should have turned into a green blur as I raced past. I couldn't quiet register why everything felt so strange and unknown. The forest suddenly seemed very breakable as I ran into the edge of a thick tree truck, to see what would happen. An entire chunk of wood fell away, groaning in complaint. I could feel the strength flowing through my body; and I had to laugh at myself; I was so little, yet so powerful. The noise that escaped from my mouth unsettled me; surely that melodious sound did not come from me. It sounded like angels, singing in God's choir. Definitely not something that should come from a monster.

I stopped just at the edge of the brook, leaning over look at myself in the water. If everything else was strange and slightly unnerving, this was positively terrifying. I knew what I looked like. I knew that my skin was hard, pale, and my hair was black; I could see short pieces of it as it fell over my eyes. But my eyes were something else entirely. They glowed a blood-red colour, and in the pale face of beautiful reflection girl, they were completely wrong. I cringed away, not needing any more conformation of what I was.

Suddenly I thought about how I could remember things, normal things, like what objects were called, how to define emotions that I felt, to distinguish between all things that felt normal and those that didn't, however I did not have the slightest idea who I was. Who was my family? Where were they? Did they miss me? My head filled with questions; unanswered questions. They circled around and around in my head as I leaned down closer to the brook to wash the girl's dress; my dress, and to clean myself up. I tried not to look at my eyes.

Carefully, I moved back after I was finished, and sat gently against a tree that would conceal me from any person coming past. Not that it mattered if they saw me or not. I was all too familiar with the lack of control I had around humans; namely, human blood. I closed my eyes, and wished for sleep, but I was far too awake. I sighed and decided that maybe I should just watch the world instead. I opened my eyes to the brook, only for it to be taken away quickly. It was the man again, the one with blonde hair that I had seen before. This time, however, I watched closer.

It felt strange, but I forced myself to "look" at him more closely. He was wandering through a town, far away, looking for something. I pressed harder, trying to understand. His expression was tortured, confused and pained. It seemed that whatever he was looking for eluded him, and that frustrated him. I held onto the vision tight, as I felt it begin to slip. He was sitting now, leaning half over, his head resting in his hands. I felt a pang of sympathy for this stranger. I wanted to help.

Another person walked into my vision's sight, and sat next to the stranger; another man, equally as beautiful as the first, and his ruby eyes filled with empathy. I forced the vision closer, to observe more detail. The second man placed his hand onto the first's back and patted it.

"Come on, now Jasper. It shall be alright." _Jasper_, I thought. But my lack of concentration allowed the vision to collapse, so everything was gone, and I returned to my tree next to the stream. I sighed. I had lost it. Then I had a thought. What if I could bring the vision on? What if I could go back? I looked around myself, and settled into an afternoon of mind training.

*****************************************************************

I fell back against the tree, just a little too hard, leaving an imprint of my shape in the trunk. It felt strange to be so mentally drained, but feeling completely rested physically. I sighed, and looked up at the sky through the canopy that the trees around me created. The stars glittered, and I could see the minute details that made them up. My eyes were powerful.

It had been a very productive afternoon. I was able to control my visions more now, and I could command them to see anything I wished. I had started by trying to watch Jasper, but it was hard. So I decided to try something that was more definite, like the weather. I knew that I would not rain. I smiled to myself. That had been easy. I then looked around my area, as to what would be coming near me. A human had been thinking of going for a hike, but then disappeared. Instinctively, I thought something was wrong, and that I had never had a gift. But after thinking about it for a while, I realised that human's futures change with every decision they make. So that person had simply changed their mind. I felt better after that.

With all that progress, I again turned my attention on Jasper. He was hunting this time, just as I had earlier in the morning. The man who had been with him in my other vision had warned him of his thirst, and recommended that he hunt. I winced away as he attacked a man who was walking home. Jasper drained him of his blood quickly and expertly. Not making anywhere near the same mess that I had. After he had finished, he hid the body, but then seemed to plunge into a pit of depression. I realised the common feeling that I had after I attacked the couple.

I had stopped after that, wondering why it was that I was seeing Jasper at all. Was my future entwined with his? Is that why I had to see him? Though adding to the thousands of questions that I had, I felt drawn to him, as though some other force was pulling me to him. I realised that I enjoyed watching Jasper, and hated the fact that he was unhappy. I decided that I was going to help him. Suddenly, another vision took hold of me, one I had not had before.

This time, I saw another blonde man, with the same pale skin as me, and was strikingly handsome. Obviously a vampire. I was beginning to recognise those in my visions by their similar characteristics. I also included myself. I also noted that he was very young. But knowledge and wisdom radiated from him. However, something was familiar to me. This man's eyes were rich butterscotch, not the brilliant red that I had come to know. I did not know what to make of it. Others came into the vision; two women and two men. But the eldest, one of the women, was only in her mid twenties at the most. And they were all extremely beautiful, all with the same, strange eyes.

The vision ended abruptly, and I found that I was holding my breath. It wasn't uncomfortable, but I could not smell. I let out a breath, and looked down. Yellow eyed vampires? I had never heard of such things. They were blood-drinkers. That was what made their eyes red. Like my eyes. I could not understand.

Over the course of the night, I discovered that I no longer required sleep. It disturbed me, but I was content as I could continue to watch Jasper and the yellow eyed coven. This was when I discovered what made their eyes yellow, and the source of Jasper's depression. I was watching him, as he walked back with the inhumane speed that only a vampire possessed, from his hunt. He was more depressed than I had ever observed. His companion, the man, again tried to comfort him.

"Jasper, are you alright?" Jasper shook his head, but tried to smile, for his friend's benefit. It did not fool anyone, not even me.

"You know, you are always worse after the hunt." Jasper stood facing the window, and hung his head. So it was the hunt that made things worse, much worse. The thought brought back memories of my own hunt, and my throat scorched in response.

The vision ended, being placed as unimportant in my mind. Carefully I stood, and walked towards the water. Though it was dark, nothing changed. My eyes still picked up even the most insignificant detail. I looked into the water and gasped. My eyes were still red, but had dimmed a little. I was guessing that I was thirsty. I cringed away from the thought of hunting again.

This triggered another vision, of the yellow eyes. I had watched the coven closely, and learnt all their names; Carlisle was the blonde man I saw first, the eldest woman, Esme, the stunning blonde girl, Rosalie, the strong but jolly boy, Emmett, and lastly the younger boy, Edward. I watched them as they went to hunt together, and was astonished when Emmett attacked a grizzly bear. This coven was not those that humans feared. They simply attacked animals. Was that not a normal, human thing to do? Maybe not bears, but certainly dear and cows.

I faded back to reality, but I was now filled with a sense of joy. I had uncovered a solution to Jasper's depression. What if I could find him and tell him of the strange coven that fed on animal blood instead of human? Would he listen to an irrational little girl? I had another vision, this one only lasting seconds, but it was all I needed.

This one was of Jasper. Only it had one crucial difference.

In this vision, I was with him, holding his hand.


	9. Time

**I'm sorry that it has taken so long guys. I have been away and no internet access was a killer. =[ **

**But now I'm back, hope the chapter is not disappointing. **

_I faded back to reality, but I was now filled with a sense of joy. I had uncovered a solution to Jasper's depression. What if I could find him and tell him of the strange coven that fed on animal blood instead of human? Would he listen to an irrational little girl? I had another vision, this one only lasting seconds, but it was all I needed._

_This one was of Jasper. Only it had one crucial difference._

_In this vision, I was with him, holding his hand. _

Chapter 8

Time had no meaning when you realise that you are going to live forever.

Once you realise that there is no time that you are going to have to say goodbye to life.

Everyday just stretches out like any other; nothing special about any of them.

Twilight is always the saddest time.

It is when I was allowed out to be free.

But it always marks the end of a day.

Another day when I was alone.

*****************************************************************

My sense of joy that I had experienced after realising that I held the key to end Jasper's suffering lost its momentum once I realised that he had to search for the solution himself, before I could attempt to present it. My visions of him were stronger now, as I focused on him more than I had ever tried to before. I believed it was because I was more tuned into him than before, and actually wanted the visions to occur.

My sense of how my visions worked was growing. I spent much of the day experimenting with it. It was always during the day, as it was hard to walk around undetected when one's skin sparkled in the sun. I still marvelled at it when the light shone through the leaves that I used hide, and my skin glistened in response. At least I had sense enough to know that no human would ever think that I was a mere mortal once they saw me. So I remained alone and hidden from the world.

Jasper usually filled my loneliness through the hours of sunshine. His pain was my pain; his joy was my joy. Although it wasn't very often that he experienced that. His whole life was covered in a cloud of depression, and for a while I could not understand why feeding affected him so much. His companions, Charlotte and Peter, seemed resigned to the fact that this is what they were, and they fed accordingly. Jasper, on the other had, tried to prevent himself from feeding, but always got to thirsty and gave in. His depression was paramount after these times. However, I still did not understand.

Peter would always try and comfort him, encouraging him to act on instinct. But Jasper simply shook his head, and would say "It's just not that easy for me, Peter, and you know that." I would always cling to any words that he spoke, for they were seldom. I knew his voice better than the sound of my own, and I lived for it.

I would always hunt at night. I would always have to. My thirst would drive me to distraction, and I could not concentrate on my Jasper when the thirst took over. I hated myself too, but I never felt it quite as acutely as Jasper. I despised having to kill innocent people, but I could not hunt animals. I did not understand how the strange Cullen coven managed it. Animals were as unappetising as the water that flowed by in the creek. To deny their very nature. I found it abnormal and intriguing at the same time. I would learn. But I needed help, and I could not see me with the Cullens. It was hazy, as though someone had not made up their mind. After a few months I realised it was me; I would not completely go unless I could take Jasper.

I would always venture out at night, for I longed to be around something that was normal for humans. I had learnt to hold my breath around them, but to make it look like I was breathing. I was never around long, for my eyes would surely cause a commotion, but just walking down the street, as others did, helped me to keep in touch with reality, as well as keeping my sanity. I missed being around people, being able to talk, laugh and enjoy life. But I often missed sleep. Sleep allowed dreams; dreams that escaped from real life, and letting you believe whatever you want to believe. I was denied that, and I was often saddened by it.

But it never stopped my thinking of Jasper. He would always make me happy. I never knew why, but it felt as though something had always been missing before I discovered his existence. I was always happier when I could watch him.

One night, after hunting, I lay under a tree that was situated close to my creek, and searched for him. It took a little longer than normal, and it bothered me. I did not want to lose what I had, or how would I ever find him? But the vision became strong, and Jasper sat slumped over on an upturned tree. At first I could not pick what was wrong, but then I realised that he was no longer in the area I had first seen him. Before, he had been in a forest, but it was only light, perhaps on the edge of a town. But now, he was in an olive grove, and he seemed more alone than ever, his pain radiating from his very being.

I watched helplessly as he pounded his fist into the tree, the trunk breaking as if it was nothing more than a twig. Jasper sighed, slide off the tree and sat on the ground with his head leaning back so it was upturned, but resting on the tree. He sighed again. I wished I could wrap my arms around him, comfort him in any way, but I had no idea where he was, or how he would receive me. It became evident that Peter was no longer with him, and that he had gone off alone. His depression was manifest, and it pained me too look at him.

Jasper was always hazy, as he had never fully made up his mind on life, but now he blurred terribly, all his futures lay out before him, and me. I saw many which I winced at, and felt the onrush on the pain they would cause me, as he intended on removing himself from the world. But there were two that were promising. One was he intended to travel the country, in search of others of his kind which may know of how he could defeat the depression that consumed him. The other, I liked most; Jasper intended to try out a technique which Peter had suggested.

It was similar to what I did for my sanity's sake; to walk around humans. But Peter had gone one step further; the sun was the only thing keeping him away during the day, so why not go when it is raining? The sun will not let the world know what you are, and the cover of rain will thin out the humans on the street, reducing temptation.

I suddenly saw his future perfectly. It was a small diner, in a city that, I was sure, to be far away, and the city itself was more advanced, so I supposed it to be a while in the future. However, I saw Jasper outside under a bridge, out of the rain, his eyes darkened, thirsty.

But I also saw something else that made my day. Maybe my year. Perhaps my whole life.

I saw myself there with him.

I saw him dip his hat, whisper a few words of apology.

Then I saw him smile.


	10. Wait

_But I also saw something else that made my day. Maybe my year. Perhaps my whole life. _

_I saw myself there with him._

_I saw him dip his hat, whisper a few words of apology._

_Then I saw him smile. _

Chapter 9

When one finds themselves with too much time, and not enough to fill it, they often count the stars.

You know that there is no meaning in your life when you know exactly how many there are.

* * *

Much of my existence was spent alone as I waited for the world to reach the correct moment in time that I needed in order to find Jasper. My vision that occurred years before was, as ever, fresh and clear enough for me to recall even the most minute detail. I often contemplated the area during my search for the town. There was never much to go on, as Jasper's decision had not depicted the town, only the diner and the overpass. And the rain.

I had begun my search shortly after the vision. I wanted to make sure that I was there. I did not want to miss the opportunity. I realised that he had become my obsession. I didn't like that thought. But it gave me a reason for my life, or whatever it was. My existence was more correct. To live a life, technically, you have to be alive. I never lingered on this contemplation. It was odd to think of yourself as dead.

Initially, I wandered through towns at night, still very uncomfortable being around humans. But people seemed enchanted with my looks, my short hair that I styled with tree sap. I still wore the gown I had stolen from the young girl whom had unfortunately been one of the first victims of my thirst. People stared, as the style was no longer in fashion. In fact, it had not been for many years.

In one town, an older woman approached me and ask my name. It had bothered me on numerous occasions that my identity was unknown to me, but before now, I never needed my name. I looked at the woman, and pretended to be lost and confused.

"I'm not entirely sure. I don't remember anything. I was beaten around the head by a stranger, and I don't remember." The lady's eyes changed from concern and filled with sympathy. She went to lay her hand on mine, but I jerked away, perhaps a little too fast. She blinked and shook her head.

"Come with me, child," she whispered, before beckoning me to follow her.

I walked close to her, but never allowing our skin to touch. I had leant that it was cold from my victims. Recently, I had been able to control the red haze, to fight it, but was I gave in and took hold of a human, their skin raised in goosebumps. The old woman led me to a fine house close to the centre of town, and offered me a room to stay for the night. I did not know what to do, and she read the indecision on my face.

"How about a warm meal, some new clothes and a bed for the night? You can leave whenever you like. I am sure your family will be missing you." Something about her kind words and generous smile triggered human emotions within me that I had not felt in a long time; the need to be looked after. I smiled and accepted.

* * *

Just as dawn was breaking, I moved swiftly through the trees that surrounded the small town. My old dress suit had been exchanged for an enchanting long, flowing dress. It made running a lot easier, but the material was more susceptible to the woods that I ran through.

I had been provided with a dinner that, I imagined, would have delighted any human's palate. However, it did nothing for my scorched throat. I insisted that I needed sleep, and that I would be more likely to take some breakfast. The woman had smiled understandingly, and had directed me towards a wonderfully furnished bedroom. I was given a nightgown and a new dress to be worn the next day, as well as shoes and hairpins. The nightgown and hairpins were now tucked into a small bag that matched my dress.

I had liked the rest and comfort of the home environment, but as I lay on the bed, I watched the sky begin to change in colour. The dawn was approaching, and if the loving woman saw my diamond skin…So I had fled. I had left a note on the desk in my room, saying how grateful I was for her hospitality, but I had to return to those who loved me. I had not touched to food on the tray. I hoped one day to return and thank her.

As I ran, the sun began to break through the leaves above, and my skin began to sparkle. I knew that I would have to find a place to hide, and soon. The sparse trees would not conceal me as the forest had. My throat was beginning to demand attention, and I did not want to accidentally take the life of someone close to the woman. That thought forced me to run faster, and the trees flew by. As I ran, I could feel a vision edging into my consciousness, and I fought to keep it at bay. I needed to get away.

I stopped when I realised that I had crossed the state boarder. I still hadn't mastered my new sense of distance. I hid in a thick plantation outside Thomsonville, Alabama, and I allowed myself to give way to the vision. As usual, it was of Jasper. But more importantly, it was of the diner. Only this time, it there was more. A lot more.

Jasper was walking down the streets of a town I had never been to, but I knew it immediately. He strode past the Power House. He was bent over against the rain, trying to hide his eyes. As he walked, he came towards an underpass and the vision melted into one I had seen so many times before. I forced myself to look at the mundane things I had ignored before. I looked for a clock, but couldn't find one. But then, there, in the background, was a grey-haired man was sitting at a table, reading a newspaper. I focused as hard as I could. I could see only the last part of the date; the year. I pulled myself out and smiled as I lay back against a tree. For the first time in years, I felt at peace; I felt happy.

* * *

I was still having issues with hunting, but my joy was helping. Finally, I knew when I would meet Jasper. When I would be able to aid his suffering, and mine. I had experimented with the Cullen coven's way of life, but I could never get past the awful smell. I believed that I would be able to eventually, but I needed assistance, motivation, Jasper.

I knew I would have to wait years for him. But he had made his decision, consciously or subconsciously, but he would be in Philadelphia in 1948. I was making my way north so that I would be there for him if he changed his mind and arrived earlier than I expected. Actually, it was more if he changed his mind and arrived before I could get there for him.

I had never been to Philadelphia before, so it shocked me when I arrived. It was bigger than the towns I had been surviving in for however long I had been in this life. I was not entirely sure of how long that was. When there is nothing to measure time against except thirst, it is hard to know exactly how long you are in a single place. However, upon arrival, I leaned that the year was 1941. So seven years. It did not seem long in some respects, and in others it seemed a lifetime. What was I going to say to him after our initial encounter? How would we survive if he decided to come with me in search of the mysterious coven? I did not know the answers. All I knew was that I needed to be ready. And for that, I needed a name.

I thought about the girls' names that I had heard in the years I had been moving through town to town. None of them sounded like me. One name that I hated was Mary. I didn't know why, but something about it made my skin crawl. I walked to City Hall, and asked to see the Births, Deaths and Marriages. Initially, the man behind the counter looked me over. My hair had been curled and pinned back to look slightly more normal. He blushed as I looked at him. He told me to follow him. As I knew he would. He left me in the stacks, to look through the city's records. I flicked through endless books, searching for a name. Any name. But nothing would fit. Elizabeth, Margret, Caroline. Nothing was me. I was becoming so mentally drained, wishing for something to stand out. I reached for the last book, and began to flick. Then I saw it. In plain print. A girl born in 1873 in the town. The 4th of March to be exact. The only girl in the whole town to be named that. But it didn't matter. Because somewhere in my mind, it sounded right. Strange. But me.

Alice.


End file.
